Thu 26 Oct 2006
We’ve been thinking, for the past couple of days about the role of the Church in the larger culture, whether it be in the so-called “welfare ministries,” or in the broader aspect of formulating an actual community which in and of itself would influence the world. Most of us understand the fact that we have been created for relationship and community. We even realize that a church that truly fosters a sense of community will have a tremendous impact. However, there seems to be a disconnect between understanding and applying these principles.
Most of us have either experiened or heard from someone who has experienced an unfriendly church. Whatever the reason, it seems that churches are now the most segregated of all institutions and it’s far too common to find an unfriendly, unwelcoming group calling itself a church. Though we recognize this as a problem, most of us have not thought much about how we have arrived at such a scenario.
Christians are commanded to love becase God has first loved us (1 John 4:19) and we are even told that it is by our love for one another that the rest of the world will know that we are Christ’s disciples (John 13:35). In short, we are commanded to love one another. This is difficult in our society which equates love with a warm and fuzzy feeling that’s possible to “fall in and out of.” In contrast to this, God commands us to love. Building on this, Scripture continually presents Christians as a new family with bonds to one another stronger than our physical family, because we are bound by blood of infinite worth.
Scripture not only commands us to love in the abstract sense, we are also clearly commanded to put this love into practice by opening our homes to one another. We are commanded to practice hospitality. This is a foreign concept to many of us because we have neither been taught nor demonstrated what biblical hospitality looks like. As Alexander Strauch says in his book The Hospitality Commands:
Unless we open the doors of our homes to one another, the reality of the local church as a close-knit family of loving brothers and sisters is only a theory.
He goes on to assert that “A cold, unfriendly church contradicts the gospel message.” For many, one of the clearest commands to practice hospitality will be 1 Peter 4:9, which reads:
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling
I find it interesting and almost amusing that Peter gives a qualifier to the way in which we are to show hospitality to one another: “without grumbling!” Under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Peter knows the human heart all too well. It’s one thing to open our homes and tables to close family and friends at holidays and birthdays, but Peter gives the broad command to show hospitality to one another, which by necessity includes those in the church who would not normally be at your child’s birthday party. And we are to do it without grumbling! What could be a more concrete example of sacrificial living than to open our homes to one another, giving of our time and resources and isn’t it true that “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7). God judges not only our actions but our hearts and it is not enough to do the right thing from the wrong motives.
Hospitality is the glue which is missing from many local churches. We wonder why there is a disconnect between the idea and the practice of truly loving one another. For many, it is because there is no practice on a daily “life on life” level of these things. We’re more than willing to help people load when they move, we’ll bring you a meal when someone dies or is born, but much of our commitment to one another does not extend much beyond this. Yet we are to be family with those in our churches. Family is not convenient, in fact, sometimes it is difficult, but it is nonetheless commanded.
Paul commands in Romans 12:13 that we: “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality” and in 1 Timothy 3:2, he goes so far as to say that hospitality must be one of the qualifications of an elder in a local church. While we might quibble that such a small thing ought not to be taken into account, Paul says that elders must be hospitable, because, as Strauch reminds us, hospitality:
is a concrete, down-to-earth test of our fervent love for God and His people. Love can be an abstract, indistinct idea; hospitality is a specific and tangible. Hospitality is love in action. Hospitality is the flesh and muscle on the bones of love. Through caring acts of hospitality, the reality of our love is tested.
We are not only commanded to practice hospitality to believers, but to the larger community as well. Hebrews 13:2 reminds us that we are to even include strangers. After all, what could be a better “launching pad” for the gospel than an open door and a set table. While these things seem to be small and insignificant, they are nonetheless, concrete examples of sacrificial love.
If our churches are to regain the cultural impact of being a community, we must recapture the lost practice of hospitality. We must put “feet to our faith” and practice these things. A love that is biblical, a love that is real will be a love that is living and active and sacrificial. We must open our doors to one another because we are commanded to, but also because we truly love one another (because He has first loved us).
- Read The Hospitality Commands by Alexander Strauch
on 26 Oct 2006 at 3:24 pm 1.Gunny Hartman said …
Hospitality could also be huge in seeing a church really grow and flourish. Not only is it biblical and Christian, it’s effective.
I remember needing to find a church after my folks moved during the summer home from college at Texas A&M University. The phone book had Killeen Bible Church, with the tagline, “The Bible as it is for men as they are.”
So, I thought I’d check it out. The first two guys I met were “old Ags” who offered to take me out to lunch afterward. They were all so friendly and I got many such offers to be taken to lunch or come over for lunch that summer.
Of course, the preaching was good, which didn’t hurt, but I was particularly overwhelmed and impressed by their hospitality.
They were showing kindness to a stranger … you know, being Christians.
on 26 Oct 2006 at 5:33 pm 2.mike said …
Wow Brent, three GREAT posts in a row…! Keep ‘em coming.
Gunny, i have been wanting to visit Killeen Bible Church for several years now. Im glad to see that they are a loving body of believers. Unfortunatly the only opprotunities that I am afforded to go are when family or friends are in Scott and White…I hope that it is a looong time before I get to go there.
on 26 Oct 2006 at 10:51 pm 3.Gunny Hartman said …
The pastor is Joe Kelley and is a great brother. He did our wedding back in ‘93 and is a gem of a guy.
I would heartily recommend them to folks in that area, especially those of a Reformed baptistic persuasion.
Hopefully, Mike, you can have a different excuse to make it down there.
; )
on 29 Oct 2006 at 3:52 pm 4.Jennifer said …
This is interesting, I was just sitting here this morning thinking about this issue. I have struggled, and continue to struggle, with the concept of going to church. Personally I am uncomfortable in large groups of people, so i have people tell me, get in a small group. I guess that is the solution, I don’t know. But what I really want to know is, when you walk in the door of a church, and someone in that church sees that they don’t know you, why do they not walk up to you and engage you? Why do they look past you, looking for their friends to come and sit with them? Why is it that the church so often feels like a conglomeration of high school cliques, where everyone else knows everyone, and you know no one?
And it is not because i have not tried. I have done all kinds of things, putting myself out to people. After talking to one group of people one Sunday, I drove out behind them. While stopped at a red light, I jumped out and said, here’s my card (with phone number), I enjoyed talking to you, let’s get together.
Never heard from them.
Sometimes i feel about the church as i do about making friends in the secular world - it seems that everyone has enough friends, thank you very much, don’t need or have time for any more.
As a consequence, my desire for going to church has greatly diminished. What is the point? For a while I went to church and thought I was finding God there. I wonder now if that was simply because I was in the midst of a lot of emotional struggle and was just looking for an experience to hold on to. Now even though I like the church I have gone to a few months — I like the pastor, the teaching is solid, the worship is simple and good, the ppl “look” friendly — but I still find myself uninterested in going on Sunday mornings. And even when I have gone, I sometimes leave feeling that no one could care less who i was.
Is it because we all bear so many burdens? Are we so wrapped up in ourselves that we cannot even simply reach out to someone once a week that we don’t know?
Sorry if this sounds like a rant, I really am just trying to figure out what is wrong. Is it me or is it the church or what is it?
on 30 Oct 2006 at 7:22 am 5.Brent said …
Jennifer, many of the sentiments you have expressed are exactly why I have written these recent posts reminding us that the church is to be a community.
There’s an interesting dynamic here though in that we do not go to church to make friends and find a community. Rather, those things are a byproduct of a group of gathered, committed believers who have come together to fulfill the first commandment. The second should naturally follow (Matthew 22:34-40).
You ask why it is that you can go to a church and have people pretend as though they don’t see you? It’s because of sin. It’s a failure to “consider others as more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).
I’m so sorry that you’ve been hurt rather than encouraged, but do not judge the church through your poor experiences. Rather, recognize that your experiences have not lived up to what Christ calls His people to be.