Last week I posted the tale of how God drew me to Himself, how God brought me from spiritual death to life. One of the same people who asked me that question also asked: “How did you become a Pastor?” So I thought it would be neat to share that aspect of my journey here as well. Here is the account of God’s calling of my life into full-time ministry:

A lightning bolt it was not. I’ve known men who knew in an instant what they wanted to do with life; men who’ve always wanted to be a pastor who married women who always wanted to be pastor’s wives. That was not me. In fact, I waded through the process of viewing pastors as “those poor guys” for many years (not that there might not be some truth to that impression!). I saw the grief that many pastors wore on their shirt sleeves and I thought for sure my calling was vocational teaching. That way, I could engage people with ideas and go home; a clean break.

And yet, even early in my Christian walk, I was provided with opportunities and the ability to teach. Not only that, I enjoyed teaching God’s Word. While working in Human Resources, I began to pursue seminary via a distance-learning program. The plan was to do a Ph.D. and then pursue teaching opportunities at the undergraduate level. But this particular distance-learning program was open-ended and did not include specific deadlines for tests and papers. I quickly realized the hard way that I need more structure to my studies.

This was around the time of 9/11 and as a result of the terrorist attacks, the company I was working for went through a series of layoffs. Being in HR, I saw a parade of people come through our offices only to hear that their employment was gone. I was assured that my job was safe, and I believe that it was, but I began to wrestle with that ever-nagging question: “What do I want to do when I grow up?” I wondered what would happen if I did lose my job: would I open up the want ads and simply find something to pay the bills and keep going with life or did I want to do more with life (Please note, this in no way implies that I believe that people who have made different decisions with their lives are somehow doing less)? My oldest son, Miles, was 2 months old at the time and I remember asking myself what kind of legacy I wanted to leave him. The answer to all of these questions was overwhelming: I wanted to study, teach and apply God’s Word.

In my mind at the time, this still meant in the academic environment, so I began to plan the full pursuit, first of the M.Div. and then Ph.D. degrees. I called my wife on a lunch break and told her that the distance learning program was not working and that I thought God was calling us to move and pursue seminary in a full-time way. Please understand, I had a great job, we owned our first home, our son was 2 months old and my parents only grandchild. This was a HUGE decision for our family. Without hesitation, she agreed and two months later, we moved to Louisville, KY where I began the M.Div. program at Southern Seminary.

I scheduled everything out to finish the 97 credits in 3 years and then go on for a Ph.D. But about two-thirds of the way through the program, God simply broke my heart for the Church. There’s really no other way to put it. At the same time, I took a J-Term (January) course on The Doctrine of the Church from Mark Dever. While there wasn’t anything necessarily ground-breaking in the course, it seemed far too providential that I was having to systematically think through many of the doctrines surrounding the church and how they fit together while, simultaneously, God was working so obviously in my heart.

Meanwhile, my Grandpa lost a long battle with Alzheimer’s. As the token seminary student, my family asked me to conduct the ceremonies. So my family and I flew back to Arizona where I conducted my first funeral. Afterward, my Dad, who is not an overtly religious man, said to me: “You know, you can teach just as much from the pulpit as you can in the classroom.” This was a turning-point moment in my life and I sat down with my wife and shared that I felt God was directing me into full-time ministry and away from the classroom. I think this was harder for her than our initial move from AZ to KY! She has repeatedly told me in the years since that she didn’t sign up to be a pastor’s wife (even though she’s great at it).

I had been involved in volunteer ministry at various levels for many years. I had volunteered with youth and and taught adult bible studies, helped organize and promote bible conferences and things like that, but upon returning to KY after my Grandpa’s funeral, Kristi and I began pursuing my first “official” ministry position. I became a part-time youth pastor in Guston, KY for the last year-and-a-half or so of my time at Southern Seminary. From there, we pursued a full-time Teaching Pastor position and God led us here to Grace Community Church in Glen Rose, TX. Now, almost three and a-half years later, God is moving us on to start a new church in the Glendale/Peoria area of Arizona.

Having thought a lot about my own journey into ministry, I can honestly say that if you are not 100%, absolutely and utterly convinced that God has called you into ministry, don’t do it. I remember several seminary professors saying something along the lines of: “If you can picture yourself being content doing anything other than ministry, do that instead.” It has been God’s call that has sustained Kristi and I through many difficult periods and continues to sustain us even now as we stare into the face of uncertainty. A clear sense of God’s call will uphold you even when you begin to feel that little else will.

How do you know if you’ve been called? Many more qualified people than I have written on this topic, but I would say that there are at least two key indicators. First is the subjective, internal call: Has God given you an undeniable burden, not just for Truth, but for people? There was a time when I’m not sure I could have answered yes to both of those. But ministry is about more than just Truth, it is about people. Al Mohler says:

Charles Spurgeon identified the first sign of God’s call to the ministry as “an intense, all-absorbing desire for the work.” Those called by God sense a growing compulsion to preach and teach the Word, and to minister to the people of God.

But this internal, subjective call is a bit more tricky that it might first appear. We must strive to discern, not only if we believe that God has called us to teach, but has He equipped us to teach. With a calling, God will always provide the equipping. I have met several men over the years who, though convinced they were called to preach, simply didn’t possess the ability to do so. That’s when the second aspect comes in.

Second is the objective, external validation of that Call. Seek advice from godly men you trust. Find opportunities to teach, to preach, to minister and ask for their input and feedback. We must be willing and able to receive criticism, this is not only part of discerning the Call, I believe it is part of the Call as well. We must be able to engage in active self-examination and we must be willing to hear and apply feedback from others. If several men in your life are telling you that you might want to consider another career path, you might want to consider another career path. Ministry is not a career, it is a calling from God.

This, I think rightly, places a lot of emphasis on the life of the local church. Too many churches have handed the responsibility of raising up leaders to external institutions. We send someone off to become trained and then we find out if they were called or not. Instead, churches should be leading the way, recognizing God’s call upon specific men and then pouring into them, investing in them, training them. I think that many churches also bear some blame here because many pastors are simply unwilling to tell someone (or unable to discern) that they are not gifted for ministry. We believe that because someone wants to minister, God must be calling them and that is just not the case. It is not an easy thing to tell someone they are not called, but if churches are serious about the purity of the Gospel, we must be willing to do hard things.

I am excited about where God is leading my family and me and I’m trying not to be anxious as we wait to find out what’s around the next corner.

• Read Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon
• Read Confessions of a Reformission Rev. by Mark Driscoll
• Read Brothers, We Are Not Professionals by John Piper
• Read Al Mohler’s piece “Has God Called You? Discerning The Call To Preach”