Yesterday, I lamented about John Elderedge’s mishandling of Scripture in his sadly popular book Wild at Heart. I say sadly popular because, though I don’t doubt Elderedge’s heart and in fact, I appreciate that he wants men to be men, but I worry that he is actually perpeuating some rather unhelpful stereotypes about masculinity rather than submitting to the portrait of the Word. For the sake of continuity, I want to again by including the quote from Elderedge that prompted yesterday’s post:

Eve was created within the lush beauty of Eden’s garden. But Adam, if you’ll remember, was created outside the Garden, in the wilderness. In the record of our beginnings, the second chapter of Genesis makes it clear: Man was born in the outback, from the untamed part of creation. Only afterward is he brought into Eden. And ever since then boys have never been at home indoors, and men have had insatiable longing to explore.

Our culture has no lack of stereotypes about what men ought to be. More often than not, we find that these stereotypes are on one extreme or the other. On the one hand, ours is a very effiminate culture and we’re made to believe that being sensitive is equal to being effiminate. Thus, we have the branding of the “cool to be gay” culture where if you have any sense of fashion style or home decorating, then you must be gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that our culture wants to reminds us). On the other end of the spectrum, we have the image of some sort of uber-machismo in which sports stars are gods, and baptism is by sweat; a view in which “pain is just weakness leaving the body” and “if you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.” As Douglas Wilson points out, “There is more to masculinity than grunting and bluster.”

Somewhere in the middle is the culturally popular doof who sits in his Lazy-Boy recliner, one hand cuddling the remote control while the other grips his coozie-cup. He digs through the chip crumbs on his chest to find some edible ones, drinks cheap bear and watches other men do manly things like race cars and tackle each other. The family lets him think he’s handy, but he really makes a mess out of just about everything he touches. Sadly, turn on just about any sitcom and most of the fathers fit this mold more than the others. Even the Bernstein Bears mocks the dad.

Obviously, neither extreme is biblical, but I worry that something else is happening as many Christian men seek to reclaim a sense of masculinity. I worry that we’ve imported more of the world’s stereotypes than we realize. It not uncommon to find approaches such as Elderedge’s taken to the unhealthy extreme that, as Douglas Wilson notes in his book Future Men: “the distinction between masculinity and feminity is one of “outdoors” and “indoors.’”

A misunderstanding and misapplication of the idea masculinity even within the church seems to, at least in part, account for the fact that, generally speaking, more women are spiritually active than men. Christianity, by nature, is a studious religion (yes, I know, it is not a religion, but a relationship, but bear with me). It generally requires a rather high level of literacy, necessitating the ability to not only read but comprehend and even memorize. The Bible’s depth requires a certain level of critical thinking that in many cases, our culture simply doesn’t deem masculine. We’re taught that men are supposed to be outdoors, having adventure, playing sports or killing something.

I’m afraid that what we’ve actually done is pit one form of masculinity against another. Yes, there is a sense in which men are to be adventurous, we must be chivalrous and willing to protect the downtrodden, but in the entire first nine chapters of Proverbs, we find wisdom portrayed as, commonly speaking, a woman who disciplines boys to listen to her and the man who finds success is the one who finds wisdom. As Douglas Wilson points out, part of the masculinity we are to be instilling in our boys is that of a sage, a person who is great in wisdom. Solomon was commended for his wisdom and Jesus was the epitome of wisdom. Few would call either of these men sissies.

We must regain a wholistic view of masculinity that understands that the academic battles are no less masculine and certainly no less important than the physical battles we fight. We must regain a society in which college athletes are made to pass their classes or they do not play sports and we must convince ourselves that culture is not allowed to redefine what God has already defined. We must oppose portrayals of masculinity which demean women, which elevate any one area (physical/mental, leader/follower) over another. Instead, we must submit ourselves to the Word as our foundation and our guide. The Church must stop looking to the world for approval and we must foster a sense of masculinity which values the head as much as it does sweat.

• Read Future Men by Douglas Wilson
• Read Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson